The only thing common between romantic fiction and real life is this, and this I know for sure: there are only two types of women when it comes to love; one, the over protective kind who people assume to be a mega bitch, which I’d like to label as the “high –maintenance” but she ends up with this sweet, innocent guy who will tame her in the end. The other is the kind who could fall in love with LOVE if love was a man and if he ever existed, which I would like to regard as the “hopeless romantics” who will end up with this self-assuring, stable guy who will be capable of filling her needs. I have friends from both sides, and if you’d ask me where I stand, neither. I stand from where only real life portrays but no movie has yet told. I’m the girl who doesn’t really fall in love or at least I’ve given up on simply because I either fall in love too easily or not at all. To put it simply, I stand in the middle; I have a sense of hopeless romanticism and the urge to be high maintenance. I like what I can’t have and I don’t settle for the ones who settle for me. The reason why romance fiction has never had a movie or a novel about women from where I stand is because our issues remain unresolved for years and probably forever until we realize that we just have to settle for the next best thing. Though, that only happens when we really don’t have much of a choice and when it’s probably too late. These women, including yours truly, I would like to call as the fish out of water, it’s like we’re completely out of place but we’re not. We look for this perfect person whom we deeply know does not exists but at the back of our minds, we know one day, someone close to that perfect person will just sweep us off of our asses, the reason for the long wait. But, as for now, I choose to stand nowhere near any of these three points. I want to be the person on the outside looking in, just for once. Yes, I’ve fallen in love once or twice in my time and I promised myself I’d stay out until I finally find the right person for me, or the right thing for me at least. I’m in hell of a deep hole I can’t seem to get myself out of, so for now, I’ve crossed love out of my list.
Promises. What does it really mean when you’re in love or when you choose not to be in love? I have a friend, who’s just like me, been hurt before by a douche bag, obese dumb ass, except I was hurt by a pretty decent guy, which doesn’t really make any difference does it? However, it took her months to get halfway the moving on process. She said she was fine because we don’t talk about it too much but if we do, she turns into this confused kid who wouldn’t know if she’s doing the right things or not. See, when a relationship ends, we think that everything we do after that is crucial, like it can either turn us into this emotionless bitch or this bitter ex, so we question our every action. Now, let’s skip ahead to when the three-month rule is done and you think you’ve moved on because he’s found another and you’re sane. Most of the time, and I mean all the time, people like my friend swears over their relative’s graves or even their own lives to never fall in love again. And when a good man comes, they refuse to see it because they promised not to.
But here’s the thing, and no I’m not going say promises are made to be broken, that’s just lame. But the thing is, are you really going to cage yourself to a promised you made because you were hurt by a dumb ass when you can’t move on and try again? I mean, what are three chances for? Why are there three strikes in baseball if you’re going to give up on the first strike? I’m not saying you should keep on hurting and repeating the same mistakes. What I’m saying is learn from your mistakes and try again. There’s a huge difference between stupidity and freedom. Stupidity is doing your mistakes again blow-by-blow while freedom is trying something, being bold and fearless knowing that everyday is another day. Sounds cheesy huh? But really, are your going to tie yourself to a promise when you can actually take chances. You may not find the right person but you’ll definitely find the right direction, lesson or maybe the right friends.
To all of you who reading this, live for the moment. Your futures are yet to come, and you can’t make a good future, if you don’t have a good present. Yes, every good moment will pass, but you can always relive it in the future. So stop promising to not fall in love again just because some smart, talented, rich, cute, awesome guy who doesn’t even see your worth breaks your heart, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. At least right now, you have one moment in your life you will never relive in your future. That's the thing, collect and select. Collect all the the moments, good or bad and in the your future, select the good ones and relive them all you want. You've got nothing to lose.
So goodbye 29, it’s been a fun 3-year ride with you. But I believe this is finally the end and I have a life to live for the moment and to love out loud. I will miss you though, I can’t say I am who I am if I didn’t have you to constantly hurt me and inspire me at the same time. I’m not going to play that bitter role and say I promise not to love again, because I will and it may not end well like this, but I still have a third strike and probably more rounds and more seasons to play and another moment to throw away. So to that, thank you and goodbye.
